Monday, January 24, 2005

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Marriage!!!! Wow, it is such a daunting thing. I just came back home for the thanksgiving day week for one of my closest friend's wedding. I met Nitin in college, in my senior year, to be honest, he was just another pretty boy to me, well it happened to be the third time i was wrong about a person. The other two times also lead to my two other best friends Mike and Simms. Eh, what can I say, I'm allowed a few mistakes in my life and that includes that one time at band camp....

Well, to make a long story short I only made a few close friends in college and Nitin is one of them. Oddly, he is also a day younger than me but thats neither here nor there. He has been basically dating his fiance/wife for about 5 years, crazy, the only commitment i've made for that long is college and even that involved me transferring. It is rather awkward for me because he is my age and he is already set in life. I mean, he has a job, which he will stay with for most of his life, he knows what his life will be like in the next 5 years and now he is solidifying all that with marrying his fiance. I have no idea what I will be doing 6 months from now let alone 5 years. Its funny how life works out, about 2 1/2 years ago as we were all finishing college, i had life figured out and had some idea of where i was going but now, not so much. C'est la vie....

Monday, November 22, 2004

There is an age old philosophical or more specifically metaphysical debate about the nature of reality. There are two main positions which are debated, the school of monism and the school of dualism. Monism, best understood in the West by Immanueal Kant and in the East in Shankaraacharya, posits that the universe, individuals and God are One, no differentiation between them in the ultimate view. There is no world, no individual soul but there only is Being or Brahman, pure and undifferentiated. Dualism, on the other hand is best understood in teh west by many of the theological philosophers but more so in Rene Descartes and in the East in Madhvaacharya. Dualism holds that the world, individuals and God are ultimately distinct entities, they cannot be the same because the difference is due to their very essences.

The implications of both of these theories leads to very different world views. For the Monist, all things are ultimately the same and the world we see before us isn't the ultimate nor is it even representing the actual state of things, in fact it is not even truly real. The realm of ordinary experience is seen as only useful in some base sense since it is based on the "illusory" world. In some respects the world before us is negated and our very existence as individuals is deemed false.

Dualism does the opposite. The world is seen as distinct from individuals and God, so distinct that it cannot seen as equal to the individual, just as the individual is seen as in a inferior position to God. God is seen as ultimately unrelatable to the individual and sooo beyond the individual that the individual has no hope of understanding God. The world and the experiences in the world are held to be paramount because they are real.

Our experiences in this world show that both view points have some truth to them. We clearly experience distinction between ourselves and everything around us but at the same level we have experiences that things around us are some how connected to us. But the exact relationship we share with the world is very difficult to describe in words. Same goes for the Divine. The Divine has been experience throughout human history ane experience in soo many different ways, that it is almost impossible to discern what is the exact position of the Divine and its relationship to everything. Just something to think about.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

If math is the ultimate and universal language then music is the universal form of expression. Music has the ability to uplift and liberate the most downtrodden mind and soul to heights of esctacy and joy. In the same vein it has the power to drag the soul to the depths of depression and pain. Music is pure and perfect, nothing can compare to it and nothing can detract from it. It is our connection to something deeper and greater than us, the Divine, and it is also our connection to the baser parts of ourselves, our emotions.

The Power of Music is beyond comprehension, it allows us to tap into that part of ourselves that is untouched and hidden in the inner reaches of our soul. The musician who is enthralled and possessed by music, draws those expressions out of themselves and conveys them to the listener and the listener sharing in that state of musical esctacy feels the beauty and power of the music in a way so inarticuble that it brings tears to the eyes. The music connects all those who truly participate in it with the Divine. Music is a spiritual endeavor and it is the medium in which the soul expresses itself. The mind expresses itself through thought and speech but the soul expresses itself through music. Music is creativity unbound. The musicians of yore, used music to express their relationship with the Divine and to communicate with the Divine, who responded through that same music.

The 17th century composer Thyagaraja, wrote "what good is music and musical knowledge without devotion" and I think that holds true even today. Does music connect you to the universal? Does it fill you and touch you in a way that is beyond explanation? Does it cause your eyes to well up with tears for no explainable reason except the pure beauty and grandeur of it? Does its power overwhelm you? If it does all that, then you have experience but a portion of the essence of Music, a limitless and infinite well.

First and foremost, gotta give it up to my buddy Malik-G aka Geeta Malik aka the Basher (she is a violent girl and has injured many of men in her time, plus she is trained in like karate), check this out Aunty G's its her first short film and pretty funny. Rock on, Malik and remember I'm still your go to hero and villian. :)

Have you ever wondered why you turned out the way you have? I have and i'm rather confused. People think i'm complex for some reason, but I'm not so sure. I mean the fact i was dropped on my head a lot as a child explains a lot of things about me, for example my frequent and rampant assmaking (i once asked out a girl at a bar, on a bet, by saying "yo gimme your number") . I was raised in a somewhat orthodox yet liberal Hindu family, its a bit of an oxymoron and a contradiction but thats my family from the outside perspective but i think we are really openminded even though we sometimes afflilate ourselves with orthodoxy. My dad and mom raised me with strong religious and moral values and i think to a large part i still hold those values albeit in a more skeptical manner.

My childhood friends are not the friends people would think i had and have. Most of them have been to jail and prison for various crimes and honestly i think most of society would condemn them and say that they are a blight on society but nothing could be farther from the truth. These are guys that have been raised by a single mother who gave them everything that she could, they were good kids but got caught up in something beyond them and paid the price. that being said, these guys are the guys i would call my brothers and infact my parents have essential treated them like they do myself. We've been through a lot together and i wouldn't want anyone else in my life or at my side.

Here is the weird part, my parents, the people who have never cussed in their lives, when I say "what the hell", my father gets mad at me and says "Don't say hell, say what the heaven". I'm not allowed to say idiot to my sister when i'm home, but if you know my respect for rules u'd know that rule is never followed . My parents have totally accepted my friends even after they went to jail and all, and have never pronounced judgment on them. Not very many people would do that. See, my parents are geniunely good people, wait great people, prolly few of the best in the world, and i would say that to anyone and I have examples from their lives to back it up, not just in regards to their kids but to people in the world they've helped.

See here is the part that confuses me, they are such great people yet they have a son like me. My only redeeming qualities i clearly get from my parents but the rest its all me. I mean, i'm a jackass, they are sweet and caring, i'm much more judgmental than they are. They are genuinely good people and I'm not, i've been an ass to people which i know my parents have never been. If you got insight into this, let me know.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

The past few weeks have been a bit hectic, just a lot of school and law stuff going on and been draining me, suffices to say not a fun time. I have spent the past day "studying" for the MPRE, the professional responsibility test for lawyers, aka the one thing we will never use or had, ethics. Lawyers as attested to by millions of people are the scum sucking monsters of the world, we have no ethics or morals, and for the most part, they are right. So a group of like 6 of us went to Waltham, the greatest city in the world, ok fine its not a city more of a village and fine not even great, more of blah but whatever.

So myself, girish, amudha, robin, sejal and sean basically waited from 11 am to 2 pm in a ridiculously long line cause the peopel who administered this test were dropped on their heads as children and are morons and incompetent. When we were sitting at the testing center, we saw this cute girl, or so i was told. We being the 5th graders that we are decide that we are bored so lets have some fun. Girish, Robin, Amudha and I decide that I will try and get her number, why me, because i'm the only single dude in the group. First we talked about my normal ass making line, "yo gimme your number", and no thats never really worked and never expect it to. So we spent another few minutes going over my various tactics, basically me trying to come up ridiculous lines just for comedic effect. Then Robin and Girish came upon an epiphany, what if we write her a "love" note. So we did just that, Girish wrote a note that goes like this:
"Hi, i am writing this note on behalf of my friend in the grey sweater (Me). He thinks you are really pretty and wants to know if you are interested? please check one of the following.
_ Yes
_ No
_ I'm thinking about it"

Girish also proceeded to put my email on that note. Amudha hads her the letter and points to me and says its from him. So i'm giggling like a lil school girl, cause i can just imagine her face upon getting this note. We were all trying to not to laugh. She responds and says thanks but i'm engaged. We all bust out laughing, not because of the response but because we are all jackasses and while everyone else in the room is stressed about the test, we are writing love notes to girls like we were in the 5th grade and scared to talk to women. Whats the point of this story? Well first is that I'm still a 5th grader and second is that I'm the king of all jackasses and assmakers.

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